Heat Advisory

They've been issuing heat advisories here left and right. I called my Dad and vented to him for 10 minutes about how they are pointless and cater to stupidity. "Hey, in case you didn't notice, it's hot outside." NO??? REALLY?? I couldn't tell!  In addition to the advisory, they issue common sense advice for all teh stoopids that don't know better: avoid the sun if possible, stay hydrated, don't leave pets in cars, and (my favorite because it cracks me up every time) check on the elderly.  That one cracks me up because I imagine people everywhere embarking upon impromptu ninja missions to go find old people.

The heat advisory in itself is irritating, but the ramifications for my job are beyond irritating. I can't take the kids outside with a heat advisory. It's hotter in South Florida than it is here and their UV index is off the charts. No advisories there. It's crap.  It's pointless.  It just promotes and caters to those people too dumb to exercise a little bit of common sense. 

The Sun: 1
America's Future: 0

Note To Self

Dear Self,

Stop bringing trashy romance novels/erotica to read during nap time at work.  Bad idea.  That was one uncomfortable afternoon.

Subsequent Allergic Reactions

Apparently, my idea of taking the antibiotics to which I am allergic with benadryl wasn't such a great idea.  It sounded great in my head.  It sounded great in theory.  However, I probably would have been better off if I had cortizone and not benadryl to counteract the hives and the whole not breathing thing.  My grandmother lectured me about my stupid idea because (and this is what I didn't know) subsequent allergic reactions are progressively worse.  So, if last time I broke out in hives, had a swollen tongue/mouth/throat, and an impaired ability to breathe. . . next time is gonna be worse. . . and that wouldn't be good.

I thought I was onto something.  I really did.  Grandma did say she saw this done once at the hospital.  A woman had a strep infection of the heart and needed penicillin to treat it, but she was allergic to penicillin.  The doctors had to give her large doses of cortizone and then her antibiotics and it took her a long time to get over it, and it was all carefully monitored.  I got the "do not try this at home" lecture from her.  Guess I have to call the doctor and risk another painful appointment. . . I really don't want my foot cut open again.  That really hurt.  My lucky doctor doesn't work full days, so I have no idea if they can call in another dose of antibiotics or not until this afternoon when she gets in.

Lucky me has the morning off! WOO! I got to sleep in until 8!  I tried to sleep after work called me and told me I didn't have to work until noon, but alas. . . sleep evaded me.  So, I have been productive and tried not to suck at life this morning.

Shower and Scabies

I just tripped over my own two feet while turning around in the shower, fell out of the tub, onto the floor, and I think my hip is bruised (or will be).  WTF?  Am I that girl? Really?  REALLY??

Ugh.  I can't even shower properly.  I'm less klutzy when I'm drunk, and some of us know how bad that can be.

Also, someone at work has scabies.  Who the hell gets scabies?  I laughed.  Karma is probably going to bite me in the ass and give me scabies just for laughing.  Ick.  I feel itchy just thinking about it.  Boo for scabies outbreak at work.

Manscape Scare

It's late at night.  I'm  drowsy.  My contacts are dry and clouding up, obscuring my vision.  So, I paddle to the bathroom, lift the lid and see . . . what I was pretty sure to be several large black rats floating in the toilet. Upon further inspection, this just turned out to be a lot of hair . . . and I have NEVER seen a beard that thick on my roommate.  It was just all clumped together, floating around the toilet.  I screamed.  I grabbed latex gloves and bleach, and flushed and cleaned the everliving daylights out of that toilet.  I was still too scared to use it, so I peed in the shower.  Who the fuck shaves their manscape into the toilet??? AND!  WHY DIDN'T HE FLUSH THAT SHIT?  Of all the times he could forget to flush.  Of all the things he could forget to flush.  Of all the things I ever thought I'd find in a toilet, the entirety of a manscape was not one of them.

Let this be a lesson to all men out there: If you ever have the desire to suddenly shave the entirety of your manscape because you think you're gonna get some tonight, do not shave it into the toilet and leave it there.  Proper disposal of your manscape is appreciated.